Let's all just end this madness now

Just come back from a visit to the health visitor where, in typical fashion, Piglet did an enormous wee on the baby weighing scales and I was told off for not taking vitamin supplements, despite the fact that (as I protested to the health visitor) they have been repeatedly shown to be useless.  Better just get used to the fact that whatever I do, there is always going to be someone judging my parenting decisions.

And speaking of judging, what is one to make of this?

Yes apparently, according to that bastion of the British high street, Poundland, these are the two vocations open to babies.  Pink-clad jockey, if you are a girl, and superhero, if you are a boy.  There are, of course, many problems with this.  Firstly, I have seen many pink-clad jockeys during my less productive Saturday afternoons spent channel hopping through Channel 4 racing, and few, if any, were women.  Secondly, superheroes clearly don't exist.  However, these points are unimportant (although more female jockeys please.  Given that women are generally smaller than men, is it not odd that horse-racing is mostly the domain of really tiny men?)  Bearing in mind the fact that encouraging a girl to ride a horse is significantly less bad than encouraging her to be a princess, I now give you that other bastion of the British high street, Wilkinson's (I know, I know, but when I say "British high street" I more specifically mean Wembley High Road, where the most upmarket establishment is a shop called Bland's that sells a curious mixture of cheap-looking prams and cots that actually aren't that cheap, ladies' underwear and hideous meringue ballgowns.  Because what everyone in Wembley needs is a hideous meringue ballgown to wear down the pub of a Friday night).

So this is a snapshot of the girls' toys section in Wilkinson's.  Now it goes without saying that the idea that there needs to be separate sections for boys' and girls' toys is itself abhorrent, but let's ignore this for a moment so we can look in more detail at what Wilko deem to be acceptable toys for young impressionable girls.  So let's see: we have a Barbie in a pink dress, a pink tutu outfit, a pink KITCHEN and a-yes, it really is-a PINK BABY CARRIER.  The boys' section is not shown here as I was too boiling with rage to linger in the aisles, but suffice to say it included police officer and fire brigade hats.

Yes ladies, the message here is clear.  Boys do the real jobs, like fighting fires and catching criminals, while the girls stay in the kitchen looking after the children.

The most ridiculous thing is that not only have things not moved on since I was a wee lass flicking through the toy pages of the Peter Craig catalogue lusting after a pink Barbie house and an A La Carte Kitchen, but they have got worse.  At least the A La Carte Kitchen wasn't pink!  And there were gender neutral toys available, such as the legendary Teddy Ruxpin.  Now admittedly I wasn't allowed any of the three toys mentioned above as they were all too expensive, but I do have photographic proof that for my second birthday, some progressive soul gifted me with a toy carpet sweeper.  Because, like, being a girl and all, all I could aspire to was a piece of already-obsolete equipment for cleaning a house, but AT LEAST IT WASN'T PINK!  End this madness now please!

For my part, I purchased both the bibs in the first picture, as at least then Piglet will know it's OK to be a boy who likes pink, right?

Gender Stereotyping for the Uninitiated: i.e. Babies

Oops.  Ordered a sandwich with goat's cheese in it today only to remember that goat's cheese is not allowed in pregnancy.

Admitting to previous incidents of this nature has resulted in open-mouthed abject horror from other pregnant friends and/or mothers.

I am already a terrible mother.

To make up for it, I decided to buy the baby a Moomin toy and Moomin babygrow.

The Moomin babygrow was blue.

Now, I am a fan of the colour blue.  I like the blue of the sky, the blue of the sea, and many other varieties of blue.  What I do not like, however, is that there appear to be only two colours that it is considered socially acceptable for babies to wear; these being namely blue and pink.

These are literally the only two colours available.  It leads a liberal, Guardian-reading feminist mother such as myself to wonder how I am expected to dress my child in a way that will avoid the tyranny of blue and pink.  The few things I have seen that were neither of these colours let themselves down quite spectacularly by being emblazoned with offensive slogans which suggested one or more of the following:
1.) Babies are little princes/princesses who rule their parents with a rod of iron.  This may well be true, but Mini-Me is definitely, DEFINITELY not allowed to know it, much less proclaim it to all and sundry via a babygrow.
2.) There are a lot of baby articles which are reflections of parental boasting, even about such mundane and unimpressive feats as being married.  For evidence, see the slogan "My mummy married her Prince Charming and had me."  Well done Mummy.  Also what is this, the 1400s?  Sadly, I have yet to see any babygrows with the words "My mummy gave up on men, bought some sperm on the internet and had me,"even though, in my own humble opinion, this is at least as impressive (and expensive) as finding a white dress to flounce about in pretending you're an untouched eighteenth century virgin and ending the night dancing to cheese whilst networking with Auntie Maureen who you haven't seen since 1994.
3.) Boys are tediously and unimaginatively expected to harbour a desire to become a footballer from the age of 3 months even when they don't know what a football is and would probably try to eat it if they happened to find one, whereas girls wish only to grow up and do virtually non-existent made-up jobs, such as princess or Tinkerbell from Peter Pan.  Probably whilst eating cupcakes.  Oh and only boys are allowed to like dinosaurs, even though it is patently obvious that no one can fail to like something with a name like Triceratops, regardless of race, religion, gender or sexual orientation.

The most offensive babygrow slogan I have seen so far was a (pink) item that proclaimed "When I grow up I'm going to marry Prince George."

I am considering purchasing it for my son.