Tuesday, 4 March 2014

Oh God. It's started already. I've just been caught boasting on Facebook


All appears to be well with Little 'Un, at least according to the 20 week scan.

Of course, now that I'm home I'm fretting again due to backache and lack of movement and am thinking maybe the scan machine killed it with hitherto undiscovered toxic rays.

Not it.  He.

Yes, it's a boy apparently.  Or an "XY," as the sonographer put it.  It took me a second to work out the technical jargon.  Although that was after I had already spotted what I thought were the requisite XY "bits" and yelled "Is it a boy?  I think I can see the bits!"

This was the least intelligent question I asked.  I think I impressed the trainee sonographer who did the first part of the scan by enquiring if my cervix was OK.  He looked at me, baffled, and asked what I meant.

"I mean, it's not shortening or anything?"

"Er no.  Have you had problems with that before?"

I am officially insane.  I bet no one else goes in there and asks them to check whether they have an incompetent cervix, "just in case."

I answered no, and that I was just a bit paranoid.  And the sonographer asked me if I worked in healthcare.  There you go, a bit of googling, a quick read of What to Expect When You're Expecting and I am officially an Expert on all things baby-related.

I made the official announcement on Facebook today anyway.  I realise I am now incredibly irritating to all people who either do not or cannot have children, who are probably wishing me dead right about now, but the lure of getting loads of "likes" was just too great to resist.  It has been noted that so far none of the likes are from ex-lovers.  Hopefully this means they are all jealous.  Or repulsed by this startling window into my uterus.  Who knows?  Who even cares?

I'm off to check if I have any more likes on Facebook.

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