Phew.
All appears to be well with Little 'Un, at least according to the 20 week scan.
Of course, now that I'm home I'm fretting again due to backache and lack of movement and am thinking maybe the scan machine killed it with hitherto undiscovered toxic rays.
Not it. He.
Yes, it's a boy apparently. Or an "XY," as the sonographer put it. It took me a second to work out the technical jargon. Although that was after I had already spotted what I thought were the requisite XY "bits" and yelled "Is it a boy? I think I can see the bits!"
This was the least intelligent question I asked. I think I impressed the trainee sonographer who did the first part of the scan by enquiring if my cervix was OK. He looked at me, baffled, and asked what I meant.
"I mean, it's not shortening or anything?"
"Er no. Have you had problems with that before?"
I am officially insane. I bet no one else goes in there and asks them to check whether they have an incompetent cervix, "just in case."
I answered no, and that I was just a bit paranoid. And the sonographer asked me if I worked in healthcare. There you go, a bit of googling, a quick read of What to Expect When You're Expecting and I am officially an Expert on all things baby-related.
I made the official announcement on Facebook today anyway. I realise I am now incredibly irritating to all people who either do not or cannot have children, who are probably wishing me dead right about now, but the lure of getting loads of "likes" was just too great to resist. It has been noted that so far none of the likes are from ex-lovers. Hopefully this means they are all jealous. Or repulsed by this startling window into my uterus. Who knows? Who even cares?
I'm off to check if I have any more likes on Facebook.
Showing posts with label 20 week scan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 20 week scan. Show all posts
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
Monday, 3 March 2014
Eagerly anticipating the birth of the Messiah
20 week scan tomorrow.
Obviously this is terrifying, and I will not go into the list of horrific ailments that could be detected at this point, all of which I have googled multiple times.
Anyway, my bump is continuing to grow at a somewhat alarming rate, and now I even have backache (hopefully this is not a sign of impending doom. Have googled that as well. I also read all the bits in What to Expect When You're Expecting which were marked "Do not read unless diagnosed with...THIS WILL ONLY SCARE YOU" in bold letters).
Basically, I am now an expert on:
Placenta praevia
Placenta accreta
Placental abruption
Cord prolapse (someone had this in Call the Midwife yesterday, and they had to have a caesarean. A caesarean! In Call the Midwife! Judging by that programme, in the 1950s usually it was three pushes and the baby's out so it must have been serious. I do hope it wasn't Miranda Hart doing the operation).
Pre-ecampsia
Eclampsia (this is what Lady Sybil died of in Downton Abbey. See, I'm an expert).
PRROM (this is my current Number One Thing to be Scared Of, having recently taken over from Incompetent Cervix, mainly because I discovered that it might be caused by having bleeding gums, which I often do at the moment).
HELLP syndrome (apparently this is an actual thing).
Anyway, at least the students at work are helping to play their part in ensuring a safe pregnancy by trying to minimise my stress in the classroom. For one Year 11 student this apparently means offering to give out sheets and carry unusually heavy objects, such as a tin of glue sticks, around the classroom for me, and for one particularly charming Year 9, it includes clearing a path for me in the corridor by yelling at fellow students "Out of the way! Pregnant lady coming through!"
Meanwhile, others are taking a more hands on approach, wanting to touch my bump or suggesting preposterous names for the baby (Nevaeh. It's Heaven backwards, see?)
Oh, and it looks like there might soon be a rumour going around that I am actually the Virgin Mary, and expecting the future Messiah, since a student ran into the detentions after school on Friday yelling "Did you know Miss is pregnant? But she HASN'T HAD ANY INTERCOURSE!"
Don't ask.
Obviously this is terrifying, and I will not go into the list of horrific ailments that could be detected at this point, all of which I have googled multiple times.
Anyway, my bump is continuing to grow at a somewhat alarming rate, and now I even have backache (hopefully this is not a sign of impending doom. Have googled that as well. I also read all the bits in What to Expect When You're Expecting which were marked "Do not read unless diagnosed with...THIS WILL ONLY SCARE YOU" in bold letters).
Basically, I am now an expert on:
Placenta praevia
Placenta accreta
Placental abruption
Cord prolapse (someone had this in Call the Midwife yesterday, and they had to have a caesarean. A caesarean! In Call the Midwife! Judging by that programme, in the 1950s usually it was three pushes and the baby's out so it must have been serious. I do hope it wasn't Miranda Hart doing the operation).
Pre-ecampsia
Eclampsia (this is what Lady Sybil died of in Downton Abbey. See, I'm an expert).
PRROM (this is my current Number One Thing to be Scared Of, having recently taken over from Incompetent Cervix, mainly because I discovered that it might be caused by having bleeding gums, which I often do at the moment).
HELLP syndrome (apparently this is an actual thing).
Anyway, at least the students at work are helping to play their part in ensuring a safe pregnancy by trying to minimise my stress in the classroom. For one Year 11 student this apparently means offering to give out sheets and carry unusually heavy objects, such as a tin of glue sticks, around the classroom for me, and for one particularly charming Year 9, it includes clearing a path for me in the corridor by yelling at fellow students "Out of the way! Pregnant lady coming through!"
Meanwhile, others are taking a more hands on approach, wanting to touch my bump or suggesting preposterous names for the baby (Nevaeh. It's Heaven backwards, see?)
Oh, and it looks like there might soon be a rumour going around that I am actually the Virgin Mary, and expecting the future Messiah, since a student ran into the detentions after school on Friday yelling "Did you know Miss is pregnant? But she HASN'T HAD ANY INTERCOURSE!"
Don't ask.
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